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Why Marriage is Important: Finding Love, Support & Peace

a couple walking to a barn

I’m glad I have a good spouse instead of a great career. While it's ideal to have both, it's more worth it to me to have a good spouse. Ideally, it's great when you have both. If you are, you are lucky. From my experience, here is why marriage is important.

I felt discouraged in my job

Today I came home in the rain feeling absolutely defeated. At work, those who were in a higher position than me made a decision that I did not agree with. It seemed that all I could do was watch helplessly as my place of employment decided to put Benjamin Franklin over the well-being of the staff and people we serve. Have you ever had a conversation with a boss, but you knew their ears were closed off and things were set in stone no matter what you said? So instead of busting out your graphs, charts, and good points you came up with during your hour-long shower……………….you hear your voice trial off…… tell everyone you will see them tomorrow………. and you walk away. Walking to the door I felt infuriated. I felt the last straw of patience in my heart snap. This time I was done giving a damn about the working world and I would be quitting from now on. You see, This wasn’t the first time that I had felt steamrolled over. In every job I have ever had, I have felt taken advantage of in some way. I have felt overworked, stretched thin, burnt out, undervalued the list goes on. I know that no place is perfect, but I don’t know what it's like to work for a place that you are proud of. I don’t know what it's like to not dread the mornings. Any place I have worked I feel like I have put on handcuffs when I sign the job offer.

It's the small simple moments that are the most meaningful

But as I turn my key, and enter through the door my dog jumps up to greet me. My husband runs and gives me a big hug! Dinner is already taken care of, he tells me and he has already picked out a funny movie for us to watch. I tell my husband that I appreciate that he took care of everything. I thank him for the coffee he sent me at my work. All my coworkers told me how lucky I was and how they wished their significant others would send them little surprises throughout the day. I have not had the best luck when it comes to jobs. I have tried, and I've gotten help. I have tried some inward reflection to see why it is that I am attracted to such toxic jobs. But Alas, perhaps I'm a defective modern woman.

My husband is not perfect but he is a good husband

For ME it is worth far more to have a good marriage than a good job. Careers are business deals. You show up, do the work, help them make money, and in return, you don’t starve. A job will drop you like a hot potato when Crap hits the fan or if it's what's best for the company. And yes, spouses DO leave…. But not good ones. Good spouses like my husband are in it to win it when it comes to their marriage. A marriage is not a business deal(at least not in modern-day America). In the West marriage is(supposed to be) about love. It's your family.

My husband has my back no matter what and I have his. It is so comforting to have someone to fight all the battles of this life with. A good spouse loves you for you. A kind and loving spouse is not out to suck every last little bit of energy out of you, they are not thinking about how you can maximize their profits, and they won't be looking for ways to cut corners that may put your health and safety in danger. An awesome spouse will not give you a hard time if you are sick like a job will.

There could be a thousand supermodel women lined up in a row trying to get his attention, but I know my husband will always look for me. Studies have shown that marriage statistically increases the likelihood of fidelity. Cohabiting couples are at a higher risk for cheating than their married counterparts. I can always find a decent job out there, but finding a loving man who works hard every day for our marriage is a little bit harder to find; in my experience. It gives me such peace in my heart knowing that as long as God gives him breath he will be there.

A married couples hands over a bouquet of flowers.

A kind soul that you can trust 100% no matter what is like owning gold. In my life, it's been hard for me to trust anybody. Like most people, I have been burnt like a forgotten pop tart in the toaster. I'm so glad that I can have someone I can trust in my life. People you can trust your life, your money, and your secrets are real treasures. If you have someone like that in your life, cherish them! A company will never be able to look out for you the way a loving partner can.

A good marriage is good for your health

Growing up, my home life was chaotic. I know my parents were only doing their best, but they were toxic to each other and they were toxic towards my sisters and me. My sisters and I could never relax because we knew that a screaming match was just around the corner. Every day until I moved out I dealt with severe anxiety issues. My husband and I wanted something different for our family. We wanted more love and more laughter. We wanted moments that were downright silly. With my husband, there is no more walking on eggshells, like I used to do as a kid. To me, jobs come and go. While a stressful job takes a toll on your health, a good spouse can have a positive impact on your health. (According to the city journal ) there has been lots of research on the benefits of marriage for adults. Married couples tend to live longer. In some cases, people had disease risks of the age group ten years younger. Married couples also tend to have stronger immune systems compared with their single/divorced counterparts.

Have a marriage that creates the feeling of home

But having a spouse that helps create that feeling of home is what I always aspired to have not to be just another cog in this messed up capitalist machine. I wanted a simple life. I wanted a kitchen filled with the smell of cinnamon rolls on Christmas morning with the love of my life, not pats on the back and meaningless awards from company higher-ups.

If I had the choice I would rather snuggle on the couch watching a ridiculous movie with my best friend than be “crushing it” out there and coming home to an empty condo in the city where I keep the TV on for background noise.

Just look at all the big-shot billionaires our country likes to revere. They are all divorced. From Gates to Bezos the trail of money is only covering a footpath of brokenness. They gained the world but lost the most meaningful relationship a person can have, an amazing spouse.

When I was in college I had a friend. This friend has a dad who is a doctor. One day while we were waiting for class we were talking about what we wanted in a future spouse. My friend then told me to be careful if I ever dated a doctor. That's not something you usually hear at the water cooler chat. Puzzled, I asked her why. “That is literally my mom's dream for me.” I laughed. She laughed too then said, “ But in all seriousness be careful. My mom had to keep at a certain weight and my dad reminded her all the time that there was competition out there and she had to keep herself looking good. Yeah, women would be gushing over my dad all the time! Being married to a doctor is not what you think”. I was shocked that a CHRISTIAN man would ever say that to his wife.

A man picking up his wife. They look very happy

That’s not to say money isn't important because it is. If there is anything my experience in Hawaii taught me is how important money is in a marriage or in your life in general. However, a good spouse will build a kingdom with you brick by brick. They will support you through all the ups and downs of your dream. A kind spouse will help multiply your blessings both monetarily and non-monetary ways. According to research married couples usually make more money than single counterparts. If I ever lose a job or have a horrible experience with a job my husband is right there to pick me up and I do the same for him. When I am with my husband I know I am safe. I know that I am loved. Unfortunately, we live in a country where your worth is dependent on what you can do.

It seems even the modern dating world has become nothing but a big popularity contest, where you could easily swipe left for something “better”. So when you find a person who is down to earth, kind, and wants you for you there is no telling what the two of you can accomplish.

It's okay if I don't want to give my all to a job

Sometimes I feel bad that I don’t have a dazzling career to brag about during party conversation. There are days I hear about the amazing accomplishments of someone I grew up with and while I am happy for them I can't help but feel behind in life.

I suppose I could keep trying to “crush” it out there in the workforce. And I may still one day.

I remember my therapist during one session told me that I didn’t have to have a career, I didn't even have to buy a house If I didn't want to. It's okay if I'm not a huge career person. I work and do my part to contribute to society but I don’t have to be into it.

I'm starting to be okay with wanting to invest in my personal life, my hobbies, marriage, and volunteer work. It's okay if I don't want to give my all to a job. I am like the millions of workers across the country who have decided to quit. To do the amount of work required to not get fired and nothing more. And no, we are not privileged enough to be quiet. We can’t really afford to not hussle, but we are going to do it anyway. Our relationship is more important.

Slow living is rebellion in modern times

The next morning I woke up and I looked over to see my husband with his thick curly black hair smiling at me. Our Dog jumped on our bed and started wagging her tail. She nudged her nose at us, asking for scratches behind the ears. It was a moment that I had waited all week for. I should have gotten up but I didn't. If I didn’t have this and It was just work in my life I would lose my ever-loving mind. If I had to come home to emptiness and darkness all the success in the world would not matter.

It was an act of rebellion to not jump right out of bed and get on the hamster wheel of hellish capitalistic slavery. I tell my husband “I love you” and give him lots of kisses. We turn off the alarm and snuggle for a few more minutes. Cuddling is amazing. It releases oxytocin in our brains warding off depression and other struggles. I take a moment to listen to the wind rustle the trees and the birds singing outside our window. I go into our kitchen to start the coffee. The smell of the brewing beans lets me know it's going to be a good day.

Our life together is sweet and simple but it means everything to me. There is not enough money in the world and not a fancy enough job that would ever make me want to trade him in

A girl in her hammock with a dog

Hi! I am Paulie D. from Notes from My Hammock. I write about living authentically, mindfulness, wellness, and self-expression.


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